What I Couldn't Do

 A few years ago, my elderly parents were cleaning out their years of accumulated kid stuff and came across some of my elementary school report cards. I have just read through them again and felt pangs of sadness for the little girl who just never lived up to her potential.

Why? Undiagnosed ADD is why. About 6 years ago, I made an appointment to have a comprehensive neuropsychological assessment to find out once and for all if I had ADD. I was not convinced of this and why would I? I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s when it wasn’t something that was noticed or even treated. During the course of the evaluation, I was asked to send my parents forms to fill out detailing how I was a child. My parents refused to do this, preferring to deny the reality of their oldest child.

Studies have shown that girls with ADD are often undiagnosed. https://knowablemagazine.org/article/mind/2020/adhd-in-girls-and-women

In women, ADD can show up as depression or impulsivity. https://www.verywellmind.com/add-symptoms-in-women-20394

In 1973, I was a 3rd grader and a rite of passage for most 3rd graders in my part of the world was the Iowa Test of Basic Skills. I’m sure I couldn’t find Iowa on a map, but that far away state was responsible for heightening the anxiety of millions of kids then. Test taking and ADD generally don’t play well together and I was no exception. That’s why my test results for Reading were less than exceptional even though I was reading at least two grades ahead.

I could not take my knowledge and skills and actually do anything with them. I knew I was intelligent and that carried me throughout my school years. I saw other kids getting scholarships and going off to college, but by high school, my self-worth was shattered.

Today, I work for a psychologist whose main source of income is administering neuropsych assessments to children. Guess what? Most of the clients are young teen girls. Their parents see them suffering and take action to help them. The girls complain that they feel overwhelmed (check!), can’t keep up in certain subjects (math was my nemesis), and are expressing low self-esteem.

I can’t go back and change time. I can; however, forgive myself for my life choices, as they were made without the knowledge of a diagnosis and the help I needed and deserved.

 

Recent favorite Autumn photos

After the storm, October 2021

October 23, 2021

Taken on a lovely autumn bike ride

The first cool, breezy Autumn day here last month

Late afternoon bike ride

A Musical Post

 It almost sounds cliche' to say that music has been such a huge part of my life since childhood. Well, it has and continues to be.

Admittedly, I haven't chosen to branch out too much to explore much new music. There are some genres that I might be inclined to nose around in, but I usually stay in my lane, which is the slow lane. Even the Eagles aren't living "life in the fast lane" anymore. Those genres are Americana, Bluegrass, Singer-Songwriter, Goth and Rock. That right there shows you how diverse my musical tastes are.

I have tons of CDs and my husband, a vinyl collector, has tons more CDs and albums and we listen to those in the house. I prefer CDs in the car, but have been known to stream Spotify with some good headphones while driving. Spotify is my preferred way to listen to music and they have rewarded me by picking up on my algorithms and choosing a weekly playlist for me, which can be an interesting trip down memory lane and a way to discover music and artists I've never heard, based on Spotify's knowledge of what "they" think I will enjoy.

This is most of my latest Spotify curated playlist. Some of my favorite songs are on there, such as The Rain The Park and Other Things, New York Groove, and Dirty Work (it's always great to get a Steely Dan song on one of these!)

Where did they get it wrong? New Moon on Monday, You Never Done it Like That and I Walk on Guilded Splinters. I never was a huge Duran Duran fan, but this is my least favorite hit song of theirs and even though I adore most cheesy 70's songs, The Captain and Tenille are just meh.

Of course, there is the option to like certain songs, which gives the algorithms more to work with. As an experiment, I'm going to try that to see what happens.

Polite Society

When I was a girl, my father always told me that it was considered impolite to talk about religion and politics. My parents were always secretive about their political leanings. We didn't practice any religion in my home and we also didn't talk about anyone else's religion. I had friends who went to church weekly and that was cool; that's what their family did. They never talked to us about it unless my brother or I asked. 

As I observe our country, now divided in the worst possible way, I long for the days when strangers didn't ask you about your most deeply held beliefs. We have a new neighbor. A few weeks ago, my husband and this new neighbor met for the first time. This neighbor asked my husband about his religious beliefs and tried to get him to talk about his political beliefs. I see no reason for this. There are plenty of subjects that can be discussed during small talk - sports, movies, music, our neighborhood. 

Some people's desire to label themselves and to start what could be an awkward conversation only creates more division. It's fine to want to meet others in your "tribe" and to prefer to socialize with them, though it is important to learn how to be tolerant of others. The very fact that we know almost immediately if someone's views align with ours is part of the problem. Let's keep some things to ourselves and we will all get along much better. 

Introduction post

As the title implies, I am an aging generation X woman who has a diary that dates back to 1978. I've wanted to share it for a while, so I hope that anyone who reads this will relate just a bit to the boy crazy, foolish girl I once was. 

I have a very unique job as a virtual assistant to six different behavioral health practices. The calls I get all day long can be very emotionally demanding, but I love being the friendly ear on the other end of the phone to someone who is going through a very hard time. I'll occasionally post about that. 

I love pop culture, language, and being an observer of society.